![]() I want to help my readers find new and exciting ways to enhance their own core sexual and relational “flavor” through interactive activities they do by themselves and with their partner.ĭifferences in desire represent an exciting opportunity to strengthen and reinforce the bonds of intimacy and trust we have created within our relationships, while also expanding the erotic playground we enjoy together. I want to celebrate vanilla relationship values while also normalizing and affirming kinky identities. My goal is to celebrate the things that make each person and each relationship unique and delightful-and to help them discover new unique qualities in themselves and new ways to delight one another. With Sprinkles on Top is not a “how to” book. For the men and women who call my office afraid-afraid that there’s something wrong with their partner or something inadequate in themselves. For the spouses who don’t understand the fantasies or intimate practices they’re learning about and who need a guide to help them navigate these new relationship waters. Sprinkles is also written for the partners of these kinky people, many of whom tell me that, if their spouse had just been willing to share their desires, they would have happily explored with them. I wrote Sprinkles because I believe deeply that every single human being deserves to feel loved and worthy and whole, to know that their innermost desires are not just valid but beautiful, and to find others who can celebrate this beauty and their relationships together with them. Who you are is not OK.” Many kinky people are afraid that if they share their innermost selves with the ones they love most, they too will be rejected, written off as broken or creepy or wrong. It can be incredibly painful to have someone you love tell you that “What you do is wrong. ![]() With Sprinkles on Top was already finished by the time this occurred, but if it hadn’t? This conversation would have inspired me to write it. In that moment, I understood my clients in a way I never had before. As a therapist, as a writer, as an educator… my work was shameful in their eyes. It’s embarrassing.” As we unpacked this statement, it became clear that they were unable to see the good-any good-in my work. Eventually, I nudged a little bit and they responded, saying “I’m sorry, I just can’t be proud of someone who talks about sex and sex toys for a living. I had sent them a recent news story I was quoted in and had been met with… silence. Sometime last year, I was having a conversation with a close relative of mine. Note: This episode originally aired on Sounds True One, where these special episodes of Insights at the Edge are available to watch live on video and with exclusive access to Q&As with our guests. Give a listen to this much-needed discussion about destigmatizing kink and expanding our definition of a healthy relationship, as Tami and Stefani discuss: reassessing our sexual attitudes how kinky became taboo bringing kink into the “cultural redemption arc” the misconceptions about trauma and kink the concept of authority exchange surrender and relaxation kink as a relational, not a sexual, behavior moving from secrecy to shared knowledge decorating and enhancing one’s “core vanilla-ness” discovering your fantasies the nature of fetishes understanding your erotic map and more. Stefani Goerlich about her new book, With Sprinkles on Top: Everything Vanilla People and Their Kinky Partners Need to Know to Communicate, Explore, and Connect. In this podcast, Tami Simon speaks with “edge expert,” certified sex therapist, and master social worker Dr. So how do you talk about it? And what happens next? Perhaps you’ve always known perhaps you just found out. You’re kinky but your partner is vanilla. ![]() ![]() They also discuss the myth of the “mono mind,” and why the mind is naturally multiple how “exiled” trauma can manifest as bodily pain connecting with our core Self and letting it lead us in our healing and how the language of “parts” can be useful in our relationship dynamics. He explains that even our most destructive parts have protective intentions, put in place to shield us from unprocessed pain, and details his method for accessing and mending these inner wounds. In this episode of Insights at the Edge, Tami Simon talks to Dick about the transformation that occurs when we welcome every part of who we are. With Sounds True, Dick has written a new book titled No Bad Parts: Healing Trauma and Restoring Wholeness with the Internal Family Systems Model. He coauthored the most widely used family therapy text in the United States, Family Therapy: Concepts and Methods, and is the creator of the Internal Family Systems Model, which he developed in response to clients’ descriptions of various “parts” within themselves. Richard “Dick” Schwartz earned his PhD in marriage and family therapy from Purdue University. ![]()
0 Comments
Leave a Reply. |
AuthorWrite something about yourself. No need to be fancy, just an overview. ArchivesCategories |